Santa hit by Airforce Drone
President Obama apologizes, says Christmas presents will be delivered with F-16 jetfighters.
In what an only be described as fatal blow to Santa Claus skeptics as well as believers, the torched remains of an obese man and four reindeers were found on the roof of the Congress library. A FBI identification task force reports all evidence points towards a North Pole origin, and that the male copse was identified by a horde of noisy, drunken elves, leaving no doubt Santa was killed, probably during a pre-Christmas test flight.
Official claims of a misguided drone designed to defend the USA against low-flying terror-bombers, have raised concerns over the security of holy flying objects in general as well as people that defy gravity during sexual intercourse.
President Obama's promise no kid will be without present will be hard to keep. The United States currently has no magic flying sledges, and only approx. 160 F-16 planes ready and not needed elsewhere, which makes analysts say only carpet bombings are up to the job. Meanwhile, General Candyhead, the commander of the mission, told people to stay calm: „If anyone knows how to deliver bombings, it is the US Airforce!". ………
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Alles wahr! Zum Glück kommt bei uns das Christkindl. Frohe Weihnachten oder religiös-neutrale Feiertage.
